Justice Dept. To Stop Pursuit Of Medical Marijuana Use

Justice Department officials were not available to comment until they finished their pizza and brownies. One official was reported to have said “Dude, we were like really happy when we decided to, um, um, what was I just saying? Oh yeah, hey dude, turn down the music; I’m talkin’ over here. What was I sayin’?” We were unable to verify this quote.

WASHINGTON — People who use marijuana for medical purposes and those who distribute it should not face federal prosecution, provided they act according to state law, the Justice Department said on Monday in a directive with political and legal implications.

In a memorandum to federal prosecutors in the 14 states that allow the use of marijuana for medical purposes, the department said it was committed to the “efficient and rational use” of its resources and that going after individuals who were in “clear and unambiguous compliance” with state laws did not meet that standard.

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One response to “Justice Dept. To Stop Pursuit Of Medical Marijuana Use

  1. The wait line at the DMV was already long…Now you’ll have deal with people eating chips and having conversations about who would win a fight, Superman or Batman. Wait, what were we talking about.

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